What's Up With Starbucks?

I am honestly not understanding what the problem is with this outfit.

Let me describe the problem.

I lived in a small town in the Sierras of California for 15 years, from 1990-2005. For most of that time, there was a small coffee shop in town that I patronized all the time. It was called The Daily Grind at first, then it turned into Yosemite Coffee and Roasting. I went there for 15 years through a variety of owners. I knew all the owners, some of them very well. I also knew all of the employees, some of them very well.

My friends hung out there and I sat around with them for hours, chatted, drank coffee and laughed, just a bunch of guys. I had lots and lots of friends there, for years on end. I also used to bring books and notebooks there and read and take notes on stuff. Once again, for hours on end. It was the local hangout.

Now, this is a small town of 15,000 where everyone knows everyone (sort of) and no one really worries too much about anyone else as long as you act halfway normal. I also went to many other places in town, many times on multiple occasions. There was never one complaint about me by any employee or customer of any establishment in 15 whole years. Got it?

All of a sudden, in 2005, Starfucks shows up and quickly takes out the existing coffee shops. I don't know how they do it, but Starfucks is able to sell coffee at so low a price that other places can't sell it that low and make a profit. I knew the owner of The Daily Grind at the time, and I told him how low they were selling their coffee, and he shook his head.

Pretty soon, if you wanted a cup of coffee, you had to go to Starfucks. Well, on the first day I walk in, there's immediate problems, and I can tell that the manager really dislikes me instantly. From that point, it's all a downhill run. You don't need to know the rest of the story, but there was a near fistfight and a shouting match in a parking lot, an idiot employee got fired, and top Starfucks management got involved.

So by and by I move to a new city and find a new Starfucks. I go there for a year or so and all a sudden there's a new heap of problems. You don't really need to know about that either, but this post ought to help you out.

Now whatever the Starfucks clowns think of me (not much, I was told in an email - they think I am some sort of weird, insane, dangerous freak), the fact is that I only have problems at these asshole Starfucks stores. No matter what my behavior is like, no one else makes a big stink about it, and no one else ever did. Only Starfucks.

I never have any problems at any other establishments in town, nor did I in the previous town. Nor do I in Fresno. Nor do I in any establishments anywhere on Earth. Nor have I ever had any problems in any establishment on Earth for my whole life, until I ran into this Starfucks crap. I'm 50 years old.

I am trying to figure out what the Hell is the matter with these stores. I think the main problem with Starfucks stores is that almost everyone working there is more or less a kid. Their ages tend to range from 16-22, with an adult here or there tossed in to mind the kiddies.

Further, Starfucks franchises are obviously not owned by anyone locally, as many other franchises are. If they were, I think they would act different. A local owner has a very strong incentive to keep customers around.

So, basically, your local Starfucks is run by a bunch of kids. The people in charge are 18-22 years old, running the whole joint. You hand an 18 year old that kind of power that they've never had in their life and they are just going to go insane with it.

Obviously, no one under 18 should be given much power or authority over anything, and the more I deal with college-aged kids, the more I think that no one 18-22 should be given much authority over anything either. When I was 20, I thought I was as mature as a 50 year old. I don't believe that anymore. There's a real reason why the President of the US has to be 35 years old.

There's a reason that there is no adult supervision in a Starfucks. There's a reason that there are no locally owned franchises. Starfucks is a low-down, cheap-ass corporation nickel-and-diming its employees to death and they're too cheap to sell franchises.

I also think there is a difference between a corporation and locally owned joint. The Daily Grind was a locally owned coffee shop, owned by adults aged 35-60, for 15 years. They were all parents and spouses. No matter what they thought of their customers (including me), they really seemed to want to keep them around, come Hell or high water. It's a small town, we all know each other, and everything is cool. Please come back.

I really do not think that Starfucks cares. Since they pretty much have a monopoly these days, I guess they can treat customers like shit all they want and it really doesn't matter. If you want a cup, you know where you have to go.

This has implications for our society. As locally-owned businesses are bulldozed over more and more in favor of behemoth mega-corporations, some very important values of our society are clearly being lost. I used to hear the anti-corporate types blab about that, but I always wondered what they meant.

Mom and Pop wants to make sure you come back, unless you are really a serious asshole. Starfucks, Microsoft and the rest could care less. They've got you by the balls. Want to run a computer and you use Bill Gates' junk while he laughs in your face. Want a cup and there's nowhere else to go.

I am finally starting to understand what the anti-corporate types are talking about. We really are losing something here, and it's scary. This new corporate world at the strip mall level in America is in some ways a pile of shit. Starfucks is a parable, a story of our times, and it's not a good one.

P.S. A commenter from San Fransisco said that Starfucks is widely despised in the City, where thankfully there are still a lot of alternatives.

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