Monday, April 28, 2008

Really Gross Fat Dude Bangs The Kind Babe

This is a strange story that a commenter of mine relates to me about being a gross fat disgusting pig still getting lots of pussy, which seems impossible until you realize that women screw power 100 times more than they screw looks.

That lakhs of women will happily fuck some totally gross, disgusting and awful pig of a man without the slightest thought in the world, all the while leaving sleek, well-groomed, neat, tidy and polite guys to jerk off by themselves leads me to chalk up one more negative about females, but it is true that I do hate women sometimes, and I really think all men either should or maybe even do, except for the wusses and the brainwashed.

One aspect of being proud of being a Male is being repulsed by the sort of displays of what we see as the insanity and idiocy of the Female in certain areas. It is important to note that we are superior in certain ways from these Female Things, who ought to be taken off their pedestals yesterday.

This sort of mild sexual arrogance leads to one being sort of a fake male chauvinist pig, but that's ok, as most women don't mind mild pigs anyway, as it just means you're a real man anyway, and I bet mild piggishness has an extreme correlation with getting laid. Women say they want wussy feminist guys but deep down inside, vaginized males cause much revulsion and lack of sex drive in females.

The Feminist Bitch created the Male Wormboy, and now she must deal with her Frankenstein-like creature, much to her eternal frustration. I would say "he" never should have been created in the first place, but women thought they knew what they were doing.

As is so often the case when the ladies get together and dream up some hair-brained woman scheme, at some point the guys need to step in and point out the to women how fucked up their whole project was from the very get-go, and offer some strict male supervision in the future. As whole continents of women secretly long to be dominated and bossed around, this can work like a charm.

You know if some gross, obese 300 pound chick had a lot of power, most guys would shrug their shoulders and go back to chasing dumb unemployed blonds and sleek Latinas. Just because it works one way, does not mean it works the other.

Most women are not even that turned on visually, say experiments, but I never believed that. Women always appreciate a good looking guy, even if they refuse to screw him in favor of much worse looking guys. In men, it's all about looks, pretty much. In women, it's not quite You've Got to Kidding, but neither is it Bag the Cute Guy automatically either.

Females are just a different species, is the only way to analyze it, but we are capable of cross-species mating and in extreme cases even love and affection.

The Female Species needs to be studied by the closely related Male Species with the same detachment as a biologist would study some wild, elusive foxes running around in the backwoods, which is sort of what females are anyway as soon as they take off the makeup and all the office clothes. They even mourn their dead and help bury them, just like the foxes they are related to.

Further research is ongoing, but a tremendous amount of biological literature on the Female has already been gathered. Bone up on the lit, observe the Female in her natural habitat and attempt to ascertain, test and ultimately prove or disprove hypotheses. They may be closely approached on many occasions, especially if you become close to a particular Female animal.

Fat readers should not feel insulted, but it's true that I did deliberately try to piss you off here, and if you weigh over 300 pounds, I may have to go to great efforts to love you unconditionally, as will most of the world. If you tip the scales at 300, face it, you're a pig! Pig pig pig pig pig pig pig! I don't care about your Goddamned genes, you are just totally gross!

Yuck! Shed, shed, shed, or just wallow in your image and just call yourself Pigpen, Grateful Dead like. In that case, I may even be able to love you in a perverse way.

I would like to point out in the case of Newt Gingrich, he is FAT! How any women would want to have sex with such a gross, hulking pig with layers and layers of blubber like a cut at the butcher's, I have no idea, but he was supposedly banging cute secretaries recently. Most people do not realize that Newt is FAT. I want to point out that Newt is REALLY REALLY FAT, and it is really gross! Let folks know.

Scott's story starts here.


Back in college, I lived in a frat house where about nine guys lived. Most of us were considered dorks (not all), but ironically, the guy who was able to get some-fine-ass girls was this rather large obese guy. He was about 5’10’’ and close to 300lbs or so, all fat. He wasn’t bad-looking the face, though, I must say, but had a real fat-looking face.

His room was covered with trash, and he was a complete slob half the time in public. When he took of his shirt there were many roles of fat and he had surgical scars on back from when he had poles implanted.

Anyways, he was the president of the fraternity, and in his super-senior year he was president of student congress. He fucked this petite VP girl. He was well-known around our small college (approx. 1,800 people), as a result of this. He knew how to yield his power within the realm of legality in order to get laid, but didn’t really have to that much.

Girls were attracted to the status he attained by his leadership. Women are biologically drawn to status as a way for them to increase the likelihood of their offspring’s success. Status and well-knownness (if that’s a word) is basically the same thing as charisma.

I should have figured this out earlier. Ben Franklin and Newt Gingrich, two fatties, are good examples of people who were (and in Newt’s cases is) aware of fact that being in power can get you laid.

Note: Readers should carefully read the Commenting Rules before commenting to avoid having their comments edited or deleted and to avoid being banned from the site.

7 comments:

  1. You're a fucking retard. I hope you choke on your own idiocy and die in a flaming pit. Chauvinist FAG. FAGGGGGGGGGG. FAGGGG. Die.

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  2. I bet you're a fucking virgin. That's a good thing. People like you shouldn't procreate.

    Women don't like asshole.

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  3. *assholes. Women don't like assholes. Sorry, in my eagerness to encourage you to kill yourself I mistyped. Apologies.

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  4. Yawwwn. Oh, fuck you, you dumb cunt. Going back to sleep now.

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  5. You make fair and valid points, in the few seconds you OCCASIONALLY take to be rational and get your facts right. You only look at one side of the world you never take the time or the effort to take into consideration other people's points of view. Also FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAG (down with canada)

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  6. i just lost all the respect i had 4u after reading this ridiculous rant. this is just sad and it's a shame u feel this way. i can't believe how delusional u r and there is something very wrong with u. having those beliefs will get u nowhere and i'm sure u have never even been with a woman in your life.i hope 1 day u see your misconceptions and wrap your head around reality.

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  7. don't know y the site didn't space those two parts where the words r touching, but w/e. don't attack the grammer/punctuation. and btw, where did this disrespect 4 women come from cus u "seem" like a decently educated guy?

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