Saturday, May 18, 2013

Trolling IRL

I think I committed a crime tonight, or was a conspiracy to one.

Oh, no, that brings on the Cops Project. Bad trip, bad trip, no way. Last time I was in Cop Land, I got thrown against a wall and got my head banged into the car roof and got the cuffs twisted on my wrists in a failed attempt to cause wrist damage for a lifetime.

The cop stood over, and threatened to grind my brains into the pavement. It was a pleasant moment, to be threatened with murder by a cop with your hands cuffed. If only he would try it, then I might have died and you would not be reading this.

Oh God, cops love to fight. I've been arrested two whole times in my life and both times I was a Goddamn psycho. Once I screamed as I was being bailed out, "FUCK YOU!" with acrobatics, while the people who bailed me screamed at me to shut up. And I didn't even get re-arrested. That shows we have an incredible amount of civil rights in this country.

In the one jail, it was entertaining. There were these guys, White guys, wasted out of their minds and in jail, of all possible places. It was at the beach, where I always lived and hung, of course.

"Whaooooooooo! Fuck you fuck you fuck you! Fuck you fuck you fuck you! Fuck you fuck you fuck you! Fuck you fuck you fuck you! Fuck you fuck you fuck you! Fuck you fuck you fuck you! Fuck you fuck you fuck you! Fuck you fuck you fuck you! Fuck you fuck you fuck you! Fuck you fuck you fuck you! Fuck you fuck you fuck you! Fuck you fuck you fuck you!"

It was a song, you had it admit. They sung it to a tune. The jailers would come by once in a while and order them to shut up, and then the band would start again.

No one sympathized with me. I told everyone I knew that I got arrested two times for starting fights with cops who bugged me, and everyone agreed that I deserved to get popped and that I was an insane and stupid scum of the Earth moron.

Actually, I thought it was a glorious act of defiance.

The cop knocked on the door of the car. I looked out the window and the cop was there. I knocked the cherry off the joint, made sure it was dead, and swallowed away, no problems. Most everyone to this day insists I was insane for doing that. It was smart, I swallowed the jay, and the evidence was gone, ha ha piggers good one huh?

There is another crime called destruction of evidence. I had never learned that, but it was pure theater anyway.

I spit at the shoes of the cops that towered above as I sat. I spat right between their shoes and missed and missed. I was informed that if the spit hit the shoes, I was going to die. That made it even more fun.

The Get Arrested Project worked, twice in a row, and now my whole world hated me. It was supposed to be a joke, but now I had a criminal record.

No comments: