Dope Sucks

At the time I was into getting high, roughly 1973-1988, there wasn't a lot of good information that most of that stuff was bad for you, or certainly that it was bad for your brain. There was a lot of information that said that drugs could be used recreationally in moderation without problems. That was the spirit of the age. It's dead and gone now, maybe forever.

I keep thinking that if I knew then what I know now, I would not have gotten into drugs as much as I did. The drugs all seem so much worse now because our information is greater. My use was really a product of an era as opposed to just some general degenerate tendency of mine.

Cocaine.

Towards the end of the period, cocaine had turned from the Yuppie party drug into the Evillest Drug of Them All. A lot of us were still using it, because we couldn't seem to make sense of how this drug had gone from White Status Symbol to Black Slum Drug. I guess we just didn't believe it. We still thought we could use the drug recreationally.

Over a 13 year period, I probably did about 16 grams of cocaine by myself. Most non-dopers are horrified when I tell them that; they assume that anyone who used for 13 years is automatically an
"addict". But if you know anything about coke, you know a little over a gram a year is nothing more than dabbling, and it's not really serious cocaine use at all. Further, of course you can do coke for 13 years without getting addicted. I did so myself.

But just about everyone I knew who got into coke at least to the extent that I did turned into an addict. Sooner or later, sniffers move on to smoking or shooting, because it's simply a more economical way to take the drug.

I'm convinced that cocaine is a great big drag. For instance, I'm such a dabbler that I would actually save up coke. I'd get some out for the evening, lay out of a few lines for everyone in attendance, then sit back and drink Heinekens with everyone else. Coke is such a stupid drug that you can't just give people a little bit of it and then put it away. If you do, you're risking a riot.

After an hour or two, they start bothering you for more. You tell them that you're saving it for later. Now they start getting belligerent.

I've had people swear right to my face that they were going to come back when I wasn't home and steal my coke. The very idea of "saving coke" from one night to the next was considered to be the ultimate in stupidity, and they were going to punish me for being a moron.

So, really, coke sucks. It's no fun. Even if you can somehow stay a dabbler like me, everyone else turns into an addict, and when they do, they're actually dangerous to be around.

The addict idiots would come over, excuse themselves to go to the bathroom, and then shoot up in there for the next thirty minutes. We'd be out in the room steaming away. When the guy came out, we'd confront him and tell him to quit shooting up in the damned bathroom, but they never would quit. Addicts don't take no for an answer.

Other coke addicts stole from me, then had the nerve to blame it on the coke, then told me flat out the money was never coming back. No problem, as long as you stay the Hell away. But they wouldn't. They rip you off, then they keep knocking on your door and coming around.

I kept banning the worst ones,, but they would come back, like males who batter their wives, bearing gifts and apologies. Soon they were back into their abusive manipulative addict game again.

One of the reasons I moved to Central California was to get away from some of these morons. I'd banned them over and over, but they kept coming back. I'd known them for many years, and they were still friends with all of our friends. Sometimes to cut yourself off from these idiots, you might just have to pack up and move away from them.

The addict has a personality. The personality is that of a callous, manipulative prick. There are some decent or classy addicts out there, but those are mostly dealers who deal to afford the habit. If they're not doing that, they're hungry for cash and all sorts of other stuff all the time, and probably mooching off or using others. The addict is a user. He doesn't care about you or anyone else. The only thing he cares about is dope.

Speed.

Speed has got to suck even worse than coke. I did meth around three times in my whole life. When I tell this to non-users, they get a snarl of contempt on their face. But I'm comfortable with it. Three times is basically nothing; it's experimental use. Why should I feel guilty about it because some annoying Puritan shit wants me to be?

The reason I only took it three times is because that's how long it took me to realize it's one of the most awful drugs on Earth. The high is excellent. You're smart, in control, sane, happy and confident. You feel warm and friendly and talk all night with your wonderful friends. You don't act wild or crazy or insane or anything like that. Your mind is sharp as a pencil and your emotions are controlled. It lasts a good 18 hours.

The next day you feel like you got hit by a freight train. First it feels like your IQ just dropped 10 points. The stupid feeling gradually goes away after about a week. Your body feels like a sack of bones. It feels like someone took a vacuum cleaner and sucked all the energy out of you. That lasts a few days too.

So 18 hours of high is followed by up to one week of crash. Who needs this?

PCP.

PCP is a really strange drug, and I took it about a dozen times, mostly unwittingly. When I tell that to non-users, they get this wild, horrified look in their eyes, but it's no big deal. A dozen trips is experimental use and I don't regret a thing.

Back in the 70's, scumbag PCP users were common. They were evangelizing, and they way they did it was to pass PCP joints around masquerading as pot joints and not tell you.

You could always figure it out real quick due to the bizarre minty metallic taste, but you were still mad at the dusters for being so dishonest. The first time was out of this world; the rest of the trips were unremarkable. I've certainly heard of people doing strange things on the drug, but I've never seen it much myself.

I remember once I was at a party in downtown Huntington Beach in 1976. There was a band playing, then people started passing joints. At some point, the dusters sneaked theirs in too. By the time I realized it, I was flying, so I just kept taking hits off the PCP jays.

This was a party of around 20-30 young folks, most around age 18, and everyone was high on PCP. Not one person was acting weird in the slightest. Non-users don't get it. Even crazy drugs like PCP typically don't make most folks act nuts.

LSD and psychedelics.

Acid and all the other psychedelics suck because just about everybody on Earth despises them and the people who take them. We were never in the stage of psychedelic acceptance when I was using them from 1974-1988, and I'm not sure if we ever will be.

Nothing strikes terror, rage and disgust into the heart of the non-user like the word LSD.

In truth, psychedelics are probably my favorite drugs of all. I took them about 40 times and never really had a bad trip.

Once on mushrooms on got on a bit of a bad trip - sort of an anxiety - awkwardness - nerd trip where I suddenly felt like the biggest geek on Earth. I was with a tripping partner and he wasn't cool about me being transformed into Ultra Nerd.

So I turned the trip around. There were bad nerd vibes with strange deep blue colors and energy fields running through my body like waves of electricity. Those were the shitty nerd vibes. The rest of you might refer to them as an emotion. The fascinating thing about psychedelics is the way your feelings actually become extremely electric and even colorful. Joy has one color, sadness another, on and on.

Well, I decided I was going to turn this trip around. It took me about 45 minutes, but I was able to do it. I took the bad nerd electricity, changed it from blue to red and changed its direction. It was going from my skull down all through my body and out my feet in a big fat blue-purple electric drag feeling.

I changed it by reversing it. A new red electricity feeling would start at the toes and go up, fighting the perennial 18 year old vibe in a sort of battle of the feelings. It took me a good 45 minutes to get the good feelings going in an excellent flow that didn't hang up on the bad stuff on the way up. Then the trip was turned around and a really crappy trip was turned into a fantastic trip.

You know that, you bad trippers? A lot of you can do that. You can change your trips, turn them around, make them go this way and that way. It's just a drug. You're still generally steering the ship you call your mind.

I often would buy a hit of LSD and just keep it in my drawer for months or even years until I felt that I was ready to take it. I would wait until a period in my life when I was feeling happier, more together and more mentally healthy and centered than I had in a while. Sometimes I might have to wait a while until I felt my head was ready for it.

That's really the only way to take LSD. Never take it when you're out of sorts in any way at all, in a bad mood, or in a bad, down or stressed out phase in your life. That's how bad trips happen.

I haven't taken a psychedelic in 20 years. I probably won't take one ever again.

You really don't get any credit for being a casual, recreational or responsible doper. It's hard to do with most drugs anyway, but you can do it with pot and possibly psychedelics.

But you don't get any credit. If you take a hit off a joint once a year, you're the same as some guy slamming a gram of coke a day. The non-users hate all dope and all dopers, and that's one of the sad rules of the game.

With booze, people are pretty sane. If you drink lightly, say no more than 1-2 drinks a day, most non-drinkers are sane enough to recognize that that's not a problem.

Not so with dope. If you don't use, you hate it, and you hate people who use it. I'm not sure if I've ever met a non-user who was tolerant towards any kind of kind of drug use. Ex-users are pretty much the same way. I'm not sure if I've ever met an ex-user of even marijuana who was willing to tolerate it in anyone else. Once they put on that ex-doper crown, they get up on that high horse and never get off.

It's for all of these reasons that I think dope sucks.

Drinking is fun in part because it's socially acceptable. Things that aren't socially acceptable are a drag. You're always paranoid about who to reveal your drug use too, and you're always running into morons who think that heroin and weed are one and the same.

Not because dope is bad for you or you're evil or immoral if you use it, but more that the whole scene around it, and the ridiculous non-users, is a great big gigantic drag. If even pot ever gets to the point where non-users can accept it the way they accept social drinking, maybe it might get fun again.