Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Four Animals One Grinder
I am looking for translators to translate this post into Dutch, Polish and Chinese. Email me if you are interested.
This post has been translated into other languages. Italian version (traduzione in Italiano). French version (en Français). Korean version (한국). Portuguese version (em Português). Spanish version (en Español). German version (in deutscher Sprache). Swedish version (på svenska).
The first animal is a cow, the second one is a pig, the third another cow and the last a horse.
I can't believe this video. It isn't really horrible or evil like most of the others on here. It's kind of gross, but hey that's life, man. Mostly it's just incredible. It just shows what goes on at a rendering plant. Whole dead farm animals are fend into the rendering machine via lifter and then ground up by this unbelievable machine, bones, heads, hooves and all.
A lot of posts on the Net are saying that these cows are alive. It's not true. They just appear to be alive since once the grinder starts, they start moving around a lot due to the incredible force of the thing.
Another common misconception is that these animals are being ground up for human food like hot dogs.
That's not true.
These are dead animals that died on farms somewhere so they are not really fit for consumption. Some say that the result might go into animal feed (especially for chickens) or pet food, and that's not a pleasant thought (this is how Mad Cow Disease is being caused). The thought that this goes into pet food also bothers me. If it's true, that does it. I'm never going to eat dog food again.
I think usually the rendered dead animals will just go to make fertilizer, which is a harmless use of them. They also make yellow (non-vegetable) oil out of this stuff. That's used as grease for machinery. They also make soap out of this ground up Mr. Ed Puree.
People don't realize that animals die all the time on farms, especially on modern factory farms. What people never think about is, how do you get rid of dead horses, cows and pigs? You can't exactly drag them to the curb and leave them there for the garbageman. And it's kind of hard to bury them in a hole. We don't have animal graveyards for cows and horses, and incinerators don't accept them.
This is where the rendering plant comes in. I guess you sell the dead animal to the rendering plant, and they come and pick it up for you. They take it back to the plant and grind it up for Mulch N Grow or whatever. One thing you might want to know about these rendering plants is that the smell emanating from them is truly horrendous, as people who live near them attest.
The guy driving that lift must have one of the country's nastiest jobs. Can you imagine being the guy who has to clean the grinder out? If you look at that thing, it's a horrible mess.
At the end the lift tosses a horse in, and watching that sucker get ground up is pretty incredible. One thing that blew me away was the sound of this crushing machine as it ground up bones and skulls. Wow!
There's a particularly nasty segment at the second cow (2:11 in the video) where the thing lets out this massive spurt as it's being crunched up. That means that that dead cow had been decaying for a while and was getting bloated as dead animals tend to do. That's another reason why these meat is not really fit for consumption by humans.
This video has been up for a few years, but it is just starting to make the rounds in a big way around mid-August 2009.
Isn't it incredible the stuff that we can see on the Interwebs? Before Al Gore invented the Internets, how many of us ever saw a rendering plant in action?
The company that makes this sucker is out of Denmark. Just think of the tech that went into this machine. This thing is called the PB 30/60 Crusher.
A few thoughts:
Wouldn't this be a great death penalty machine? Screw this lethal injection crap. 1st degree murder? I sentence you to the Grinder! We could sell tickets r large amounts of money for spectators to watch the killers get ground up alive and use the proceeds to help fund the state so the state can spend the money to help people.
Damn I want one of these machines! Where can I buy one? I'd like to use it on some of my enemies. I would tie them up, throw them in the loader and dump them in the Grinder. Then I would charge like $1,000/head for spectators to watch, get rich and retire on the proceeds.
We should use this thing on dead humans to grind them up. That way we could save lots of graveyard space and use the future would-be graveyard space to build strip malls and Walmarts and other useful things.
Actually, I think when I die, I want to be ground up like this. We could make it like a funeral thing and all of the funeral guests could come watch me get ground up and eat popcorn and stuff. It would be a great end to my life.
After I get ground up, I would like to be canned as Robert Lindsay Chow and fed to my pet cats, assuming that I have any. If I don't have any cats, I would ask to be made into cat food, because I love cats, and this way, cats could feast on someone who really loves them. Cats have given me so much love in my life, this would be my special way of giving back!
They should have had some really brutal death metal music playing in the background of this video, don't you think?
Wouldn't it be cool to see a dead elephant or giraffe get thrown in that thing, just for fun?
In my dream world, there would be like 600 channels on cable. One of them should be the Animal Shredder Channel. That channel would just show this machine grinding animals all day. To make it more interesting, they could vary the types of animals getting ground up. I would just turn it on and leave it on for hours at a time while I do my work and whatnot, just like background you know. Except I would probably change the channel when I was eating.
There are a lot of possibilities for alternate uses for this machine.
We could take some fat White kid raised by a single Mom on Twinkies and video games and stick him underneath the machine. The meat from the ground up farm animals would fall all around him and all over him. It would land on his face, covering him.
We would have workers with shovels to shovel the meat off of him so he wouldn't get buried. He would keep his mouth open, and some of the meat would fall in. Then he would eat it. We would keep him under there, and he would get fatter and fatter. After about 10 years of that, he would be so fat that he could become the King of Germany.
We could take the ground up animals and give them to Disney. Disney could reconstitute them into humans, especially teen idols like Selena, Miley and Britney. Little would their swooning fans realize that their favorite teen star was really a ground up horse!
We could use the machine to try to solve intractable conflicts. By grinding up pigs and cows both and making movies of it and distributing it to conflict zones, possibly we could make headway in the Hindu-Muslim conflict in Kashmir.
The possibilities are endless!